I didn't want to blame God but I thought with just a snap of His finger He can fast forward the time and erase what I felt inside miraculously, but He didn't do that. I am upset, but I can't be far from God because I am so scared, so down. Worse, I felt worthless. He is the only one that I could run to. And deep down I know I still trust Him so much. This is a matter of me surrendering my heart to Him. Trusting bits and pieces of me to Him. Trust that He's working to give me peace and comfort.
It feels so unbearable now that I wish the wind can just blew out time. Fast. :'(