Don't you dare!

I'm blessed. And I would considered stupid if I can't admit it.
But you, you don't have the tiniest bit of right to say I walk through an easy path.

You don't even know an inch of what I've been struggling inside.

You don't even have the clue of my lowest days.

I try not to judge you and your life.

I hold myself from saying your life is too easy.

Because I know everyone have their own battle, including you.

My life is not as easy as I showed people.

It's just I trust so little when it comes to sharing my whole story.

But when I said I'm blessed I mean it.

I'm blessed with both the joy and the pain, the tears and the laughters.

Without one of those, I won't learn anything.

Without the pain, I won't appreciate the joy.

Without the tears, I will take the laughters for granted.

Without you, I won't appreciate those who actually appreciate me.

Let me tell you this, stop breaking other people's heart with your judgment, your words.

Stop wasting your time saying I didn't mean to hurt you, yet you stab deeply with your words.

You don't know how much your word hurt others so get a life, dude!

I'm not OK

The fact that You let me get through this twice in a day, means I'm badass enough to handle both.

Yet You knew, I'm in pieces.

I'm trying so hard to hang in there

So I don't have the chance to hide it from You.

To sink-in all at once, have gone a little bit harder than what I expected.

In contrary, You knew this bound to happen.

When they look me in the eye, no one would have a glimpse of what happen inside

Because I, myself, is a pretty good liar.

But You?

Rather than adding my list of lie to You, I'll put it in words.
"I'm currently not ok. And I can't predict how long I will not be ok.

Right now I just keep on telling myself, "Hangin there, shit(s) do happen!"

Self title

To be able to stand up like now,
it's been a lifetime struggle
I know how it felt to be alone.
I remember how dark it was
To not even knew if I want to keep on breathing tomorrow.
The crazy thing, no one knew
Not that no one care
I hide it
I kept it only to myself
To talked about my trouble is challenging
To opened up on how some things actually hurt me is nearly impossible.
All tears happen behind closed door.
Sharing the pain is tough for me
The thought of being a burden, shut me up
The possibilities of being judged by some, shut me down
I'm not letting you know because I can't.
Too used to not doing that
Those days are hell
Even until now, the thought that those feeling might come back anytime scares me.
I still learn. So when it come back I will feel less alone
At the very least I remember that I'm not alone.