She impossibly hate you

She told you her scariest secret,
she adores you.
You treated her right, at the time when she even doubt herself
Despite how tough she can be sometimes
Despite how defensive she can be most of the times
Despite how she put no room for being vulnerable all the time

You came, you tirelessly remind her how she isn't nothing
You protect her and scold anyone who forget that she's still human after all.
You left too many kind things that she didn't even know if she deserve those
You touched her heart so much that she will forever thank you.

She already prepared for the worst.
On the edge between keeping everything as it is or kicking everything out,
You choose the first and you proved her wrong.
Nothing change. Not as dramatic as she thought before.
Then how could she hate you even for saying no?
She couldn’t and she wouldn’t.
She impossibly hate you.
She'll  always root for you. From afar. No matter what.
You are forever special for her.

She breaks, hard

There goes her heart awake from false words she kept on hearing.
There goes her mind walk away from the chaos that wore her down.
Here goes her final words over every things, lately.
She didn't give up. In fact she's done. Until the finish line.
Too many reasons for her not to do the same dance all over again. More than the fight to just keep it down.
Because she knew, she barely had the chance to go anywhere.
Because she knew empty battle just won't do, where no one have the slightest thought to fight with her.
No matter what she did and how hard she did it, at the end she's nothing. It was all for nothing. Bitter.
She knew this a little too late.
The hopes and the trust she put, too many. She ended up crushed.
She finally knew things just not right.

Some easily said she's selfish, some said she's stupid. Even some doubt her.
It's not easy, never a piece of cake. She knew it better than any of you.
She even play the "if there is........, I will......."
Nothing came up. So she said to herself, "Breath. Let go."
To put away precious things and precious ones for her, breaks her hard.
She fell down on her knee, begging herself to keep it all together.
So stop saying anything that you thought you knew about her, because you don't.

She hates changes. She has this anxiety over changes. So when she choose rather to deal with it, go figure the reason behind.
She  already did her best. Or at least that's what she thought.
Oh by the way, she perfectly knew next road might not be an easy one to walk, it's nowhere to be extra smooth. But knowing that she'll be forever in a good hands, she rest her case.

Breathe (Lee Hi)

Take a deep breath
Until both sides of your heart get numb
Until it hurts a little
Let your breath out even more
Until you feel like there’s nothing left inside

It’s alright if you run out of breath
No one will blame you
It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes
Because anyone can do so

Though comforting by saying it’s alright, are just words
Someone’s breath, that heavy breath
How can I see through that?
Though I can’t understand your breath, it’s alright
I’ll hold you

I already knew you had a hard enough day
to even let out a small sigh
Now don’t think of anything else
Let out that deep sigh
Just let it out like that
It’s alright, I’ll hold you
You really did a good job

Life

Life is too full of jokes, I can't laugh anymore.
I reach the end of my hope over the so called life.
I've done enough
And at the end I realize you are not and never will be worthy of my begging.
So no, I won't beg. I'm just done.
You disappoint me enough, and I've reach the point of not bothering. It's okay.

Battling the reality

Don’t try, not even once to belittle one’s difficulties and saying it’s easier compare to yours. Each of us has our own battle to fight. Each of us will at least once reach our low point. Saying your battle is harder than others? Shame on you.

Life itself already exhausted to some people when reality hits hard.

Doing everything the best that they can, but at the end they have to face reality that their best will never be enough. Their best just won’t do.

Not taking anything for granted but at the end they realize they are the one that’ve been taken for granted.

When these hit, they just wish somehow someone will stand for them, simply to remind them. They have done great.

When these hit, despite the calmness they've shown, they wish at least one somehow notice they're crying inside.

Because when these hit, they tend to forget that it’s ok to fall.

Because when these hit, they tend to forget that they’re not everyone’s cup of tea and it’s ok.

Because when these hit, they tend to put themselves as the worst despite all the good things that they’ve done.

Because when these hit, they need to be reminded that everything is going to be ok.

Otherwise what’s left will only be regret.

When I'm just a human

Felt like hurtly beaten up but couldn't put it in words.
Felt like crying but seems that I'm not allowed to do so.
Too scared to share because it's hard.
No matter how stubborn I said it won't matter, it actually matters.

Have you ever felt abandoned?
Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try you will never be good enough?
It hurts. It's awful.

Have you ever felt like people see you as a ticking bomb of bad attitude?
Ready to blow and bring so much disaster.
That they just wish you won't be around as soon as possible.
It hurts. It's awful.

So awful that you can be crazy enough to leave everything behind. Without second thought. Put a stop.

You supposed to be you who never listen to any of it.
You supposed to be you who don't give a damn.
Unfortunately, it's only the ideal.
The truth is you listen. You give a damn.
And then you fell hurt. And you feel overhelmly awful.

People might think they are crazy for having difficulties to share things. But it's the truth, there are people who can't share everything easily. Those who feel too down to point out what's wrong. There are people who think they don't have the privilege to have best friend. There are people who think they are too low to be precious.
Life will give you tears and laughters. Everything has its time. We knew but often we forgot. Please look around a bit more. Don't be around your closest one only on good time. They need you more in their worse time. Even if you're unable to lend a hand, just by being there, sometime it is more than enough. Don't judge, that might be what worries them the most. Judgment from people. They don't need it from their closest one. They already got it from the rest of the world. So please, don't.
They might be on the point where they are running low of life. The point where they need to stop for a while. The point where it's so low that they are afraid they can't handle everything.
Truth is everyone can be on that point of their life. Some can easily share. Some simply can't.